Tuesday, January 20, 2015

How did I...?

Dear Diary,

So I am pregnant. That much is true. But I haven't talked about it to many people because up until last Monday, I hadn't even got to see the little cupcake of mine so there wasn't much to tell people. I have been asked a lot how did I find out and how did I tell family and how am I feeling and are you going to do pregnancy weekly photos and updates, are you going to find out sex of baby, do you have names picked out, etc.? So I thought I would answer a few questions over the next couple of days to clear some things up, just in case you are one of those wondering minds.

How did I find out?
I have been off birth control since July but my doctor told me to wait one month so I can have a regular period to get my body use to being off birth control. So after I got my period in August, I knew everything was good to go. I had read that if you try and stress over it, it will take a long time. So we did our best to not stress over it. We both wanted it but the moment I started my period in September, it upset me. And then it stressed me and my mind and when I started again in October, I got really upset. I started to blame myself, I blamed him and told him he needed to get checked out. All these things. Then I read an article somewhere about someone who tried for 2 years and never lost there faith. Never blamed anyone, never blamed each other and finally got pregnant. And here I am only 3 months in to trying and blaming everything under the sun. So I stopped blaming myself and Bobby and I started praying. When I started at the beginning of November, it didn't upset me this time. I continued to pray and at about this time, the Garth Brooks "MOM" song just came out and my mom texted me saying that this was my song. That there was someone special waiting for me and that it was all in God's hands. I had never cried so hard in my life. I thanked God for all the things in my life and dried my eyes and started my day. I had been documenting in an ovulation calendar app I had and I accidently put in my period date wrong for the month of November. So when it was coming time for me to start in December (going based off my calendar), I didn't. But to me, I was only 1 day late. Then I went back to my everyday calendar I use (because I put it in 2 different calendars) and noticed that I had actually started a week earlier. So I was actually 8 days late! It was a Friday so after I got off work, I drove to CVS, grabbed a Clearblue pregnancy test, rushed home, hide in the bathroom and peed on the stick. It took about 30 seconds for it to change.
How did I tell Bobby?
After about 1 minute of staring at the pee stick, I knew Bobby was in his office working. I tried to put the pee stick in my Younique case because I thought it would be cute if I handed it to him and told him I had a gift for him. But the stick didn't fit so I knew I was running out of time and he would come looking for me. So I put it behind my back, walked up behind him and quietly put it over his head in front of his face. He said " What the..." and turned around and said "Are you kidding?" 'Is this a joke?" "Is this fake?" I just laughed. He picked me up and spun me around while the dogs went crazy around my feet. It was like a scene from a movie. I will never forget that moment of telling him. He just kept saying 'Wow" over and over again. He asked me if I had another pee stick, cause he wanted me to be sure. So I peed on a second pee stick just to pacify him and in 30 seconds, it was a plus sign again.
How did we tell my parents?
Do you know how hard it is to not tell anyone? How hard it is to not share in this excitement? I knew we wouldn't last long so the following week (Friday), I had my company Christmas party and told my parents to come over a little early to have some wine before we go. So they thought nothing of it. Well I had gotten a bottle of wine and a jar of Prego sauce. Every time I had texted about getting pregnant, I always used the word Prego. So I knew they would get it. Boy was I wrong. I put the wine bottle down and said "Well I had a whole lot of this..." and then I put the Prego bottle down and said "and now I'm this!". They both just stared at it reading everything. So I said it again. And for a third time. Nothing. You could see their minds working like crazy. It finally hit my dad and he said "prego....are you pregnant?" I said 'yes" and lord almighty you should have heard my mother. She screamed and did her little rain dance with her hands in the air...."OMG my baby is going to have a baby!" and more screams.
How did I tell my sister?
Well I knew we were telling the Lewis clan that Saturday evening (more on that next) so I decided I would call my sister Saturday morning. Little did I know she was standing in line to see Santa. I told her I had a quick question so she called me and said "What's up?" I said "I was wondering if you are ready to be an aunt?" You could hear it in her voice. She did her best to not scream it to the world because Landry was standing right there. She said "I am standing in line to see Santa and you tell me now?! (in a whisper) Tim, Dani is pregnant." I could hear Tim say "What?" She said "Let me call you back when I am not trapped between random people and kids" Instead of calling me, she texted. This will be her first time being an aunt so she finally know what it feels like, what I always tell everyone about the joys of being an aunt.
How did we tell his parents?
So that night was the night we went out with the whole Lewis clan to Prairie Lights so we thought it would be a good time to tell everyone then. We went over to Bobby's parents a little early so we could tell them. We started talking about her Christmas tree and all her ornaments and Bobby goes "Well you will have to add another one next Christmas because Dani is pregnant" Debbie jumped off the couch and ran to me and squeezed me so tight. You have to understand something....Bobby is Debbie's baby. Her favorite (Angie and Billy know it, no secret), he can do no wrong, nothing. So for her to come over to me before she went to him meant so much to me. Debbie has always loved me because she knows how good I am for Bobby. I have a great relationship with Debbie but in that moment, it meant so much to me that she picked to hug me over him. And not just hug me, she liked HUGGED me for like 2 minutes. I know that sounds childish and all but I can't help it. Then everyone else showed up.
How did we tell Billy, Kristen, Matt and Angie?
So we rode with B&K to the prairie light show and on the way we told them. They were both so excited for us. Kristen screamed of course, even though she knew it was coming. Then she looked at me and said "I think Boy". On the way back from prairie lights, we rode with Matt and Angie. Bobby and I were very nervous to tell them. With everything that happened with Aubrey, I didn't want to rub it in their faces that I was pregnant. A few weeks before that, Angie sent me a text telling me that she wanted to know when we got pregnant. That what happened to her, should not take away from the baby I am going to have. So with that in mind, Bobby told them. Angie was so excited. She gave me huge side hug (cause we were in the car driving) and it was such a relief. Matt and Angie are incredibly strong but I just didn't want to bring up emotions for them.
What about everyone else?
I knew my appointment wasn't until January 12th so I really wanted to wait to tell extended family and friends till we saw the baby and knew everything was ok. We did tell a few close friends before we went to the sonogram. Bobby was just way to excited. Up until that point, I thought I was only 9 weeks pregnant. When we went in to do the sonogram, turns out I was almost 11 weeks pregnant. The baby was growing really big so she pushed my original due date August 12th to August 4th. So we knew it was time to tell people. We made a lot of calls and a lot of text to extended family and close friends. Everyone was so excited. Bobby and I have been together almost 11 years so when you have that much history, that much love, that many people see you grow from these kids to adults together, they were just as excited as we were. I am super blessed to have the people in my life that I do. My support system is amazing.
How did I tell Landry?
As far as the nieces and nephews in my life, Landry was the one I was most nervous about telling. Actually she was the one I was most nervous about telling period. She has been my girl for almost 6 years. I was afraid she would think I wouldn't love her anymore, or love her less or be upset with me or not want to be around me. All these things. I didn't want Landry finding out early because the girl has a big mouth and would have told everyone she saw. So we waited. I knew Colton and Kent would hear it and move on. And Hayden and Billie are too little. So Kara brought her over Saturday morning so I could tell her. She was in the kitchen talking to Kara so I went and grabbed the sonogram picture. I said "Landry, do you know why mommy brought you over to see Ninny?" Then Bobby goes, "Oh she doesn't know?" and Kara goes "Shhhh!". She said "No, why did mommy bring me over here?" I said " So Ninny could tell you that she is going to have a baby!" She got really quiet. And just stared at me. I could see her mind going a thousand miles a second. I said "Do you want to see it?" and she said yes so I showed her. Kara explained to her that it's like when Hayden was in her tummy. She said "Oh ok" and left the kitchen. Just like that. Kara said "Don't worry. As soon as we get in the car she's going to ask me a thousand questions" Then they left and Kara texted me later saying that when she walked into Tim's mom's house Landry goes "Memo, Ninny is going to have a baaabbbbyyyy!" And Memo asked her what she wanted and she said "A girl because there are too many boys already!" 
So here we are today. I am 12 weeks today but I will be doing my weekly post on Friday's for you. So far I have been told people think its a boy more than they think its a girl. I don't care. As long as its healthy, I am good. Here are my photos I have taken. I didn't do every week since it was still so soon in the pregnancy.
I am hoping to find something more creative to do with the weekly photos. So far its been me taken them. I need to find a way to incorporate the dogs. Any suggestions would be greatly taken?
Love, Me