Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Timeout

We have started timeouts here in the Lewis household. They started about a month ago, not many at first but as he slowly is becoming closer to the age of 2 and the terrible twos are coming out. He gets timeout about once a day now. But he understands it and it works. I chose not to spank Brody because he doesn't need it. I think spanking should be the very last thing and only if they understand the concept of it. I know for some kids, spanking works. I just don't see the need for it yet and as long as timeout works, that is what I will keep doing. He has a certain spot he goes to and up until last week I have had to take him. Now, I tell him to go to timeout and he goes. He sits anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute, how ever long it takes him to understand and calm down. And when he is calm and has stopped crying, he looks at me and says done. Only then do I allow him to get up. And when time out is over, I make him give me a hug and kiss. I always remind him why he was in timeout and he is always a better kid afterwards. I feel like Brody just sometimes needs a minute to calm down and I need a minute to calm down. So this is working so great for us and I am proud that I have found something that works for us all. 


Funny timeout story: He was having a fit over the word no so I told him to go to timeout. So he went. 15 seconds later I went to check to see if he was sitting there and he was. So I walked away. About 15 seconds after that, I heard his bedroom door close. As I went to correct his mistake and make him sit in timeout longer for doing this, I bust open the door, ready to yell and I see him sitting in his tee-pee reading. HOW CAN YOU YELL AT A KID FOR READING! I said "Brody you are supposed to be in timeout but how can I punish you for reading." I walked away and he stayed in there a good 5 minutes by himself, just going through his books. 

A couple of things I have learned about this new adventure:
-Find a space in the house that has no meaning and make it the timeout spot. His spot is in his room, by his laundry hamper. I can easily see him without him seeing me. It isn't a place he sleeps or plays or reads or eats. He can't hurt himself or get into anything. 
-Even if you don't think they understand, they do. I always explain to him after he gets out why mommy put him there. I feel like it works. He has only gone to timeout for the same reasons only a few times. Usually the timeout is for something new, a new button he is trying to push. 
-I have to allow him to express himself and be himself. I don't ever want to take that away from him so if he is mad or upset, I try never to do timeout. I only do timeout if it is for something he understands he is not supposed to do. Like scream at me when I tell him no to something. Or if he gets super mad and hits the walls with his hands. Things like that have no place in our home and he knows it. I want him to learn how to calm himself and when he is that mad or upset, how to breathe and reflect. 
-The hug and kiss when it is all over is the cherry. It's a sorry when he doesn't know how to say sorry yet. It's a way to bring us back together and not be mad at each other. It's like the fresh start. 


I share this because I know a lot of us are just getting by day by day with these kiddos and I have found something that works for us and maybe could work for you. I know all kids are different and are learning differently, but if you find Brody is like your kiddo, try this method out. Or if anyone has any other method that doesn't involve spanking, please let me know!




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