Kent is 5

Happy Birthday to my amazing nephew Kent Samuel Lewis. 

I love you so much buddy. You are such a joy to me. You are so smart and have always had such a fantastic vocabulary. You talk to me like an adult and make me laugh. You always have a hug for me and you are the perfect definition of a boy. You are tough and strong and loving. You are an incredible big brother, Billie Marie is so lucky to have you as her brother. 

I can't wait to see what you are going to be some day. I am so lucky that Brody has you to look up to as a cousin. I love you so much buddy and I still can't believe you are 5 today! I remember the first day I met you like it was yesterday and to watch you grow has been a pleasure and here we are today....you crazy, funny, handsome boy! 

Happy Birthday! 

Emergency c-section

Dear Diary,

It's been a few weeks that I have written to you and I figured it was time. I have been asked a whole bunch about why Brody was considered an emergency c-section and I thought it would be a great time to answer these questions, so everyone will know what a blessing this baby is to me and how I thank God every day for keeping him safe. 

I explained my "have a baby" post {here} but I failed to mention why they had to take him so suddenly. 

So my body went from having no contractions, to having them every 30 seconds to a minute. Where normally, women get to that point gradually and are dilating the whole time so the process is much easier on the body and the baby. But because I was going so quick and wasn't dilating, it was causing my body to go in shock and it was causing him to stress out. When a baby gets stressed in the womb, it can cause them to poop and if you know anything, it is really bad if they poop inside of you. And my water still had not broken so my doctor comes in and explains to me what is going on. She wants to break my water to see if he had pooped and if he had, we would need to take him. And if he hadn't, then we can continue the process we were on. Well baby boy had pooped and because he was still in distress, she told me that she thought it would be best if we went ahead and took him. 

I could see the look in her face...like I am giving you the option but I am telling you what to do. Little did she know the tragedy that she saved him and I from and maybe she did know and didn't want to scare us. Once I was in the room and she had cut me open, she said that my placenta (the sack that Brody is in that keeps him safe and protected) was rupturing. Because of what was going on, it was failing. Brody was literally to big for my placenta and he was literally pushing his way out, which caused his partial collapsed lung. 

All making sense now? 

This is why I never looked bigger than 31 weeks. Which was great weight wise but very dangerous for carrying a baby. I will now be considered high risk when I hit 32 weeks due to the size of my placenta and the fact that I could possibly have another big baby. Which means I will have to get a sonogram each week starting at 32 weeks to monitor the baby and everything else. 

I can't even begin to thank my God for giving me my doctor and listening to me when I told her I hadn't really felt him move since Sunday. And being honest with me and taking care of us when we needed her the most. She will forever be in my prayers and will forever be my little hero that day. Because to think I would have never had the chance to hold him or him be much worst off than he was...I just can't think that way. Because he is here and he's perfect for Bobby and I.

Love, Me

National Dog Day

Happy National Dog Day to the best 2 dogs in the whole world! Your life lately has been turned upside down and I know you don't quite understand what the hell is going on but when Brody gets a tad older, you will love him. And it will be another person to love on you! Everyone who comes over just loves you both and ends up wanting to take you home with them. 

Thank you for being my pups and loving me unconditionally! I love you so much. 

3 weeks old

How old? 3 weeks 

Likes? Being cuddled, his play mat, music, being talked to

Hates? Baths, being cold

Milestones this week? His head control is amazing. He can turn his head to the sound of your voice. At his doctors appointment, he was up to 8.9 lbs and 20.50 inches. He is still long and lean but has chubby cheeks that I love.

Sleeping?  This week hasn't been the best for sleeping. He has been awake more which is great but because he gets so hungry, he wakes himself up after he has fallen asleep finally. 

Eating? He eats 3oz every 2 hours. In the middle of the night, we try for every 3 hours so we all get some sleep but it's give or take on that. 

1st and Kindergarten

I can't believe I am writing this but Landry Kate Smith started 1st grade today! 1st grade! And what's even more shocking to me.....Colton Levi Talbert and Kent Samuel Lewis started Kindergarten! I was a mess this morning when I got their photos. Y'all know how much I love my nieces and nephews and take great pride in my Aunt title so it was so hard for me this morning seeing them all grown up and going to school. I kept thinking of that Darius Rucker song It Won't Be Like This For Long and kept crying over and over again. 

Landry, Colton and Kent-

I can't even begin to describe how much I love you and how proud I am of you. You are going to rock this year. You are so smart and so sweet and you are going to make so many great friends! Good luck this year, have lots of fun and never forget how much I love you! 
-Aunt Dani

And now I need to pick myself up off the floor and just hope time slows down some! This aunt just can't deal. 


And thank you Kristen for sending me this even though you had no idea I needed it!

2 weeks old

• How old? 2 weeks and 1 day
• Likes? To eat, snuggling, being swaddled, tummy time, his momma-roo
• Hates? Being cold, his diaper changed, baths
• Nicknames? Hulk, pup, puppy, stretch
• Milestone this week? Finally latching on the boob (talk about that next week), having more head control, really focusing on things, turning his head towards the sound of my voice.
• Sleeping? He sleeps about 2-3 hours at a time. He tends to wake at midnight, 3am and 6am...somewhere around those hours.
• Eating? He eats 3oz, every 2-3 hours, rather it be formula or breastmilk. 

Happy Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday to my hero, my daddy! 

I love you more than words can say. You have been there for me every step of the way. You encourage me, you motivate me, you love me even though I am super stubborn and hard headed, you never give up on me, you always taught me right from wrong, you preached to me about putting God first and everything else second. You love my husband and now you are Pop to my baby. How lucky we all are to have you in our lives! 

You always say you are the luckiest man because of the family God gave you, but I'm here to tell you Dad...we are the lucky ones! 

I hope you have the best birthday and I love you so much! 

30 in 30: 1 and 2: Get an epidural and Have a baby

Alright.....

Let's get this story started! 

I will do my best to give you the facts and not bore you with the inbetween stuff. 

The morning of August 4th, I had a 40 week doctor appointment to see if I have dilated or any farther along with my pregnancy. At this appointment, I was supposed to talk to my doctor about what day to get induced and how everything would go. 

So I show up for my 10:45am appointment. Bobby was supposed to go with me but he ended up having a really important meeting that he couldn't miss come up so I told him I would be fine and just call him once I found out what was going on. I get back to the room and after being checked out, I had only dilated to a 1. Which is nothing. I told her that I really hadn't felt him move since Sunday. And you could see her ears perk up. She already wasn't a fan of my blood pressure so decided to send me down to triage to get blood work done and to get a sonogram. Just to be safe. So while my blood work is being rushed, they wheel me up to the sonogram room to check on little boy. The doctor was very honest with me. She wasn't a fan of what she was seeing. She said she would call my doctor and they would discuss what they think I should do. She wasn't gone but 2 minutes when she came back in and said that her and my doctor thought it would be best if they went ahead and admitted me and we get this ball rolling. They didn't like the fact that he wasn't moving like he should and my blood work came back bad. She told me it would be a slow process so to call my husband and tell him that when his meeting is over, to go ahead and get on up to the hospital. So they wheel me back down to triage to wait for a room. I got to the delivery room around 2pm or so. 

This is where it gets crazy.......

They had a hard time getting an IV started on me because I hadn't had any water so after 3 tries, they finally get it. Bobby arrives around 3pm and I have to say....I have never loved my husband more than when he walked into the room. There was this look on his face like OMG this is happening, like really really happening! Luckily he had been at his appointment and was able to go home and get all of our stuff. After he arrived, my doctor came in and told me they were going to try to get me to dilate more. That there was this small thing that they will place inside me to start helping me dilate. So I get that inserted and within 30 minutes, I was having contractions. Like major contractions. Like where I couldn't breathe almost. But I knew it was part of it so I just focused on my breathing and tried to stay calm. 

They came in around 4:30 to put the epidural in me. I have to be really honest, the thought of it scared me to pieces. And I was in so much pain that I was shaking so bad. The nurse had to hold me to help calm my body. I wasn't shaking cause I was scared, I was shaking cause my body was in so much pain. He had a hard time sticking me at first and I was contracting so much, it took longer than normal. So I just started praying and finding an inner peace and he was able to stick me. Not gonna lie, it hurt. But I knew this small amount of pain would help the massive pain I was in. After he was able to stick me, he went pretty fast. Then he told me he would gonna stick something in and to tell me if I felt nerve pressure on either my right side or my left side and he would adjust it. He stuck it in and I felt it on my right so I told him and he pulled it out and tried again and this time nothing. And like that....I had gotten an epidural. I only wish I was able to watch it or have some sort of documentation of it but they kicked Bobby out of the room for it. 

At 5pm, my doctor came back in and decide to take the thing that was inside me out because it was causing me to contract every minute. So I went from no contractions to contracting too much too fast. It was putting my body in shock almost. So after she pulled it out, my body was able to relax some. Which was a great relief to me. At this time, my water still had not broken and I was still a 1. She said she was gonna give my body an hour to see what it will do. So at 6pm, she came back in and decided to go ahead and break my water. She was afraid he might had pooped in the water and could be in distress and if so, we would need to do an emergency c-section to get him out. So she broke my water and lord did that feel weird. Like I just peed a bucket on myself. And like she had feared, he had pooped. She wanted to monitor us for 30 minutes to see what my body would do. She was gone 10 minutes when she came back in the room and told us she thought it would be best if we did a c-section. That something wasn't right and we need to get him out. So I looked at Bobby and we both said yes, get him out. Do what you need to do. So within 5 minutes, I was being wheeled into another room and getting prepped. I won't go into details of what they did because honestly, I really have no idea. I was numb from the boobs down and I knew he was in good hands. They brought Bobby in and it was go time. The only thing I actually felt was him being pulled out of me. It was like an uncomfortable feeling. Like something being sucked out of you. The amount of people that were in the room for this one baby was mind boggling. Because he had pooped in the water, she told me that once she pulled him out, that I wouldn't hear him cry. So to not freak out. That they would need to get all of the stuff out of his mouth because they didn't want him swallowing it. 

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LAY THERE AND NOT HEAR YOUR BABY CRY! 

But I trusted them and I trusted God and Bobby was there so I just kept praying. And then I heard it. And then I yelled at Bobby and told him to tell the doctor that I was gonna puke so he told him and he gave me something that knocked me out. I literally passed out. I really have no idea for how long, all I remember was hearing my son cry and passing out. They finally woke me because they were taking him out of the room and they wanted him to see me. 

At the time, I had no idea why they were taking him out of the room. And it wasn't until I got back into the labor and delivery room did I find out that he was in NICU for a partial collapsed lung. Bobby explained to me what was going on and that he needed to be monitored 24/7 in NICU for it. That they didn't see the need for surgery but he needed to be on oxygen for 12 hours to help him heal. And that he had gone to see him and he was doing good. If you know me, you know how emotional I am. But for some reason, I didn't cry when I found out. I had so much faith floating around me that I just knew he was going to be ok. That God was present and it was all in his hands. 

They decided to go ahead and wheel me up to our room but wanted me to stop by the NICU to see him. Those first moments of his life are really important in bonding. So they brought me in and he was under this oxygen thing. 

They took him out and placed him on me. I could have laid there forever people. FOREVER! All the pain I went through, all the unknowns and the all the scary things, none of it mattered. 

I get it now! I get what it's like to have a baby. It didn't go as planned. But what in life does? In 4 hours of being told this would take a day, I had a baby. My baby. My little boy.  In 4 hours, I experienced 2 of my 30 in 30. 

I am a Mom now! And there's no greater feeling than when I look at him. 

Just so you know, Brody healed himself in 24 hours and we were able to have him back in our room Thursday around 1pm. Praise God! 

Next week I will talk about how we came up with his name, why he and I were in distress during labor (there's a big reason and it's a doozy) and get you all caught up on our time at home. 

1 week old

I know a lot of you are so curious about what happened last Tuesday and I promise I will tell you all the unbelievable story of how my sweet boy came into this world but today, he is 1 week old and that is something worth sharing. Over the next couple of days, I will tell you the story of Brody Daniel Lewis. But today, today I am focusing on his 1 week. On Tuesday's, instead of my Dear Diary days, they will be Brody Daniel days. I will be moving my Dear Diary to Thursday's now. I can't promise I will be blogging everyday these next couple of weeks but I will do my best. 

He likes to eat and when he doesn't get it fast enough, he turns into the Hulk. And we have officially changed his nickname from Mighty Mouse to Hulk. Mighty Mouse was cute when he was in the womb but since he goes from 0 to 60 in a second, we thought Hulk was much more fitting and more manly. He loves kisses and be swaddled. He hates being cold and hates his diaper changed. He smiles a lot and he has a dimple on each side. He has my eyes and heart shaped face and he has Bobby's nose and Bobby's top lip. And he is long and lean like Bobby. He is both breast and bottle fed. Since he likes to eat and he likes to eat right now, the boob just isn't quick enough for him yet but we are working on it everyday and everyday he gets better. He really is a good baby and B and I couldn't be more blessed. 

I promise I will tell you all the story of how he entered into this world because it truly is a story for the books. But it is a long story so I will be sharing it over the next couple of days. Hopefully I can get everyone caught up on our crazy life! 

To my 3 boys,

Where do I begin? 

You 3 have already made me the luckiest women in the world. I get to be the wife to one of you and a dog-mom to the other 2 of you. 

Bullet,

You make me laugh on a daily basis. You have such a personality that can only be described as nothing from this world. You might not understand what is about to happen to your world, but as your mom, I promise you I will love you the same, no matter how much you might feel ignored these next couple of weeks while Mom gets in the groove of things. Mighty Mouse is going to love you so much and even though you might want nothing to do with him, you will love him too, especially when it comes time for him to start eating in a high chair and food "happens" to fall to the floor for you. I love you my Bully Bully and thank you for being my dog. 

Dash, 

My baby. My shadow. The most loyal thing I have in my life. I hate that your life is about to change so dramatically. I know everytime I get up to feed MM, you will be right alongside of me, even at 2am. One of the reasons I had your dad spend extra money on a double glider for MM's room, because I knew the other side would be occupied by you. I have a feeling you might end up becoming MM's best friend. You let anyone love on you and lay on you and I think he's going to do just that. Things are going to change and I can't stop it but I promise to love you the exact same way as I already do. I love you Dasher and thank you for being my dog. 

Bobby,

What an 11 and 1/2 years we have had together. And now a baby! A real baby. Like a real, talking, walking, human. Who knew the thug and the shy girl would end up here?! We have had ups and downs and through it all we have stuck together. In a few short days we are going to be parents! Like holy shit. PARENTS! Haha. We are going to go through this miracle of life together. Just you and I. We are about to experience something on a totally different level together. And I can't imagine doing it with anyone else. You make my life complete. You are the hardest working man I know, you put this little family of yours first and when I came to you over a year ago asking you what you thought of when we have a baby, me going part time so I can spend some time with him/her, you never once complained or bitched at me that I couldn't or we couldn't afford it or how I would be taking something away from you. You listened to me and understood where I was coming from and you never once told me no. And here we are! You are the man I never imagined I could have, a true prince charming and I can't wait for MM to learn from you. You are the most perfect role model for our son........OUR son! I love you baby and thank you for being my husband and baby daddy. 

And now I can pick myself off the floor, wipe my whole face cause I have been crying this whole time and get back to whatever else I was doing to distract myself from the reality that is about to happen!